As many of you who’ve spoken to me on chats know, or have heard of my glittering reputation through other channels (in fact, this year I’m teaching a class on telelvision and it’s not too late to sign up!), I love television. In fact, I am routinely playing catch up on six or more shows: expanding my interests, developing new and increasingly inappropriate crushes on actor and character alike… It’s something that keeps me busy, happy and stops me from murdering Chad every few days out of boredom. Instead, I sit blissfully in front of my tv set or laptop watching hour after hour of whatever show currently has my attention. I try not to discriminate, so sometimes my weapon of choice also includes (really) bad acting and child performers.
For any television addict, however, September is one of the most exciting months of the year. It’s not a month where sweeps happen, and it’s not necessarily when the most exciting episodes of a show air, but it is when the dreaded summer hiatus for most primetime shows comes to an end. New content begins airing; it’s a very exciting time.
I can’t say I’ve ever done anything too whacky to make sure I’m home in time for all my favorite shows to start; usually I just take off work every night to ensure I’m home and am extra careful not to make any important plans that I can’t later accidentally cancel. But I do have some ideas for what you can say to friends or family to make sure you find yourself sitting comfortably on the couch when the theme song to “How I Met Your Mother” first begins to chime through your super deluxe surround sound HD magical wizarding home stereo system. Or whatever you have.
1. This one requires a bit more practice, so maybe you could start getting things ready for next year. Or, actually never mind. I think I figured out a way to pull it off this year.
CONGRATULATIONS. YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!
Yup, you read that right. You can probably even pull this one off for a few shows. How can you do it this year? Easy. You had a surrogate. That explains why you never looked pregnant or anything.